Currently Listening Live in Paris & Toronto By Loreena Mckennitt see related

Good Morning all,

Just saying thank you for all the kind words that came so quick.  I am going to be fine.  Remember I am the one that initiated this.  I just need to get this process rolling and someone he who will remain nameless (COUGH SMURF) is dragging his feet.

I want simple stuff right now.  I want to be able to come home to my new clean, clutter free apartment and make myself oh just a grilled chicken salad and not have to worry about making someone else something.  I want to sit on my couch and yes (its a guilty pleasure) watch Sex in the City with out seeing eyes roll.  Dammit I want control over the freakin clicker (yes I still call it that).  I want to be able to go to the gym and not have to look at the time to make sure I get home at a certain time to cook someone else dinner.  I want a couple of other things to but I am trying to keep this a PG-13 blog atm.  .  I want to be able to practice my magick with out worry that I am going to wake someone up or offend his kid.  I really took these things for granted before when I was single.  I wanted to have someone in my life so badly that I lost part of myself in the process.  People who were in GoldenWyven saw that process happening, I did too to some extent, but I assumed it would "get better".  I never expected to "change" my husband because male or female you can't... and even to ask something like that is incredibly unfair.  I thought (there I go thinking again) that once we got this house that his motivation would maybe kick in a little... when it came to the house and other things..... it just got worse.  My husband is a good man he really is and he is good to his kid (I don't have kids just reminding).  HOWEVER, he is not a good husband... People who know me know that I have a very strong  motivation when it comes to things that I want... There is nothing that will stop me when I want something... (I am not talking materialistic things either gang).  When it comes to a job, goals, etc.  I let nothing stand in my way.  I just want this process over with.  I want to take this big divorce & selling my house band-aid and rip it the hell off, get it over with and move on.  Now those who are reading this who don't know me my think that I am upset right now I am not. Those who do know me and reading this know that I dislike stagnation in my life... I like movement another words ON WORD.

Ok I need to get some work done..

Asrai